A Few Firsts

We heard the heartbeat for the first time on Wednesday. In the moment, it didn't really hit me that it was our baby's actual heartbeat beating away but as the day went on, the reality of it became more and more real. Its unbelievable to me that in 14 weeks, this little life can grow inside of me so strong and resilient already. As dumb as this sounds, hearing the heartbeat made me realize I have a baby/human/little person growing in me versus being pregnant.

For those first few weeks, I sort of equated being pregnant with the flu or a cold. It just didn't feel real. But gradually, in the last few weeks, as my body has begun to change a little and the early symptoms have lessened, the excitement of whats to come has started to feel real. Hearing that heartbeat truly made me fall in love with this little person and I can't believe I have months before I get to meet them.

I also had my first baby dream! I dreamt that I gave birth to a baby girl who we hadn't named yet and because I had an epidural I couldn't remember my labor at all. So, after we got home from the hospital, I asked Aaron what actually happened. He told me that I threw up in his hands, pooped on the table and screamed for three straight hours. When I told Aaron about the dream, he started cracking up, saying that's pretty much what he has prepared himself for at this point. I guess that makes two of us!

On a side note, did anyone watch the Office last night? I know the strike this year kind of messed up story lines due to the long break, but I'm kind of sad they are racing through Pam and Jim's romance and taking them straight to an engagement by the end of the season. (Sorry if that was a big tiem spoiler to anyone who didn't watch last night...) It would have been fun to see them just be together for a bit...have a first fight, say 'I love you,' do a few more pranks on Dwight. I do know the show isn't real, as my husband constantly reminds me, but I can't help it...I love it!

Happy Friday, we are off to see the in-laws and Baby Claire this weekend!

Look...I'm Growing

I haven't been that good about taking weekly belly shots. I took a few at 9ish weeks and then I took another few yesterday morning (13 weeks 3 days). The truth is, my stomach has always been the area on my body, I'm the most self conscious of. Thank goodness there is a baby in there or this process would be way more painful.

There are many good things about being 13 weeks pregnant. The top reason being that I feel better! As in, I can actually wake up when my alarm goes off, not gag at the smell of coffee, make it through the work day without crying better! I'm not really nauseous anymore, but my gag reflex is still ridiculously sensitive. The oddest thing so far is the fact that I can't go near anything terryaki. I think its an odd thing to hate so much seeing as just a few weeks ago, I loved all things rice, vegetable and terryaki. Typing those words just gave me that gaggy feeling at the back of my throat. My poor husband has taken over as sole dog-poop scooper and kitchen garbage taker-outer because if I even attempt either job, I end up dry-heaving.

The other cool thing about 13 weeks is that my stomach is starting to go from chubby looking to an actual pregnant belly. My pants do not button anymore but they still fit everywhere else, so I have started wearing the bella band. The bella band is awesome and comfy but takes some getting used to because on me it rides up a little which can get annoying.

We go to the doctor tomorrow to hear the heartbeat. I can't wait. All my friends with kids said that was a really special moment in their pregnancy and made it feel much more real. Here's the belly, the bigger it gets the more likely the shirt is going to have to be pulled down, because nobody (including myself) wants to see stretch marks. The first picture is at 9 weeks 4 days I think and then the other two are 13 weeks 3 days. Please excuse the dirty mirrors...apparently the other side effect of pregnancy is the inability to clean your house. Also excuse the extremly flat ass...it's genetic.




As a side note, the brown room I'm standing in is the future nursery. I'm taking suggestions for fabric colors/themes/general ideas.

Communication or Lack There Of

I work in public relations. I have a degree in journalism. Words and talking are my thing. So it would be easy to assume that I know how to communicate. That assumption would be wrong.

I stepped on toes today and embarrassed myself. I would love to blame it on pregnancy and raging hormones or the fact that I work with difficult people, but I think I'm recognizing that maybe I'm that difficult person at work. I can be bossy and opinionated and downright sassy and not in a good way. It's not an easy pill to swallow.

My blog is named Traveling Mercies after my favorite book, Traveling Mercies by Ann Lamott. The book is her journey to becoming a Christian and it's full of funny, poignant and humble stories of people gently loving on her in the midst of all her crap, until she realized that she needed more in life than just herself. The book changed my life in that it provided really authentic examples of how to treat and love people. I want to offer laughter and kinship and kindness to everyone I come in contact with. There is a vibrancy to the book that readers grab and want to hold on to.

I've got some learning to do and reevaluating my motivations. Its time to breathe some traveling mercies into my heart and out into the world around me.

PG13

It was a little embarrassing. It was also very funny. It was mostly shocking that I could say something so raunchy without one drop of wine in my system and without blinking an eye.

Last night we hosted a party for our friends who are getting married next weekend and as the evening winded down and the bottles of wine rapidly disappeared, a small group of us were left chatting. For whatever reason my husband proudly announced he was currently going commando. (which...gross) The conversation quickly turns to the merits of different types of under ware and my friend, the soon to be bride, mentions that she went through a "commando phase."

We all continue to debate about the level of comfort and so on when I loudly proclaim, "I have no problem with the ass, its the front I have an issue with!"

The room goes quiet for a second while everyone digests my comment and I stare innocently wondering why the conversation has stopped. Then...the laughter starts and I am beat red and I don't think its going to be something I live down for a while.

I blame it on "pregnancy brain," but I think its more of an issue of just not thinking before I speak...

Babies Everywhere

Our dear friends had their baby this morning! Baby Cohen arrived at 10:04am at a bouncing 7 pounds 3 ounces. I, of course being the hormonal pregnant gal that I am, cried when I saw the text message picture come through.

Now, I'm just watching the clock until 5pm when I can get out of work and go to the hospital. I visited early this morning before I went into work and it was so nice to witness a calm birthing experience. Not that I have seen any other babies being born, but its easy to kind of freak out about how labor and delivery is going to go. My friend wasn't quite ready to push, but she had her epidural and was happy and ready to bring that baby into the world. Her husband and mom and sister were there too, encouraging her and cracking jokes. It was awesome.

In pregnancy news related to me, I hit the 12 week mark today, and I am really hoping all these 1st trimester symptoms are going to fade away soon. I've noticed that the more tired I get, the more pronounced the morning sickness, headaches and crankiness are. I officially grew out of a pair of my jeans yesterday. I wore them to work as a last ditch effort to get one more use out of them, but by the time 3pm rolled around, I was dieing!!! So, those are going away until probably sometime in 2009. It makes me really sad to think I won't be wearing my regular clothes for a long long time. Oh well, bring on the maternity clothes!

I have been so spoiled. My mom, mother-in-law and friends have either bought, lent or given me some adorable clothes! I am super excited to wear it all. I'm in that funky spot where I don't look pregnant at all (except at night) but my pants are getting tight and my tops just don't hang as nicely. I need some transition clothes for the next couple of weeks...I might have to do some shopping this weekend!

I better get back to work and appear like I'm actually useful around here...