A Weekend for the Girls

Cate, Claire, Mary, Diana, Andrea and Jessi

The college roommates made a trip to Yakima this weekend to celebrate the impending birth of Baby McCoy. We had an absolute blast and it's always so refreshing to spend time with people who know you as well as family. We laughed a lot, passed around Cate's baby, hit fruit stands, lounged at Starbucks and went out to dinner.

As usual, there was much reminiscing about the year's we lived together. Three of us grew up together, two of us married best friends, two of us met on the first day of our freshman year of college and four of us got married within a year of each other. Two of us lived together all four years, two lived together for three years and we all lived together our senior year.

We've had really good times where there has been much celebrating, but we have also seen each other through break ups, family illness and tragedy, moves across the country and so much more. We led Young Life together, studied together and devoured pans of brownies. We hiked and camped, sat in coffee shops, stayed up late, borrowed each other's clothes and shared many many meals during the years we lived together. Sometimes we drive each other nuts, but only those you love and care for, truly make you the most crazy. Right?

So ladies, thank you for a fun weekend, fabulous gifts and loving on me and Baby McCoy. I'm so thankful to have you in my life!

Is it Summer or Fall?

I know technically it's still summer, but I can't help feeling so excited that the first hints of fall are in the air. It is still warm and sunny during the day, but the evenings have a hint of crispness to them. A few of the trees in the neighborhood are tinged with reds, yellows and oranges.

I feel like I blew right through the summer. We never floated the river, played a round of golf, camped or even did any real hiking. We attempted to pick huckleberries (a pacific northwest must-do) but that didn't happen thanks to a bear sighting. I wouldn't have lasted too long anyway, but still...

I hate feeling like time has gotten away from me and I didn't take advantage of all the things I 'could have done.' One of my favorite bloggers, All & Sundry, wrote a really interesting post today. Linda basically said that having kids helped her realize how capable she really is and through that she is more motivated and excited to pursue hobbies and career goals. The context of her post is mostly about her career, but it touched a cord with me.

I am capable of so many things, but I often settle for 'good enough.' I tease Aaron that he is the perfectionist in our relationship, and while it's true, and I won't ever be a perfectionist, I wonder how much richer my life would feel if I pursued my hobbies, career and even more importantly, motherhood, with a bit more motivation and a little less procrastination.

I think that's why I love fall. Fall is an opportunity to slow down a little bit, catch the gorgeous colors falling from the trees and start over refreshed. I think that's my goal for the rest of 2008, to not only immerse myself in motherhood, but take a hard look at how I can make the most of my days, so that they include the things that I love. Even if it means a little hard work and sacrifice on my part.

That...and I'm excited for apple pies, cinnamon scented candles and pumpkins on door steps. Hopefully the warm days will continue to hold so that baby and I can take a few leisurely walks before it gets too cold.

Belly

I can't think of any new clever titles for "belly shots." I was looking at photos from 9 and 16 weeks and I'm shocked at the changes my body has gone through. I think I've forgotten what it feels like to NOT be pregnant. I was telling Aaron last night that I can't wait to wear jeans that button and zip. I am so sick of elastic waist bands.

34 weeks

Aaron doesn't really like this picture because he has a funny smile, but I like it. This is at a family friend's wedding a couple of weeks ago. I think I was 32 weeks. That is a non-maternity wrap dress I found at TJ Maxx and let me tell you, that was definitely the last time it could be worn...it didn't wrap quite as much as it needed to.
We had our first birthing class last night. Our friends, who have almost the same due date as us, were in the class which made it really fun. Aaron, of course, was overly silly and didn't take it all that seriously, but I'm glad we did the class. I kept reminding myself, (as I was getting increasingly annoyed) that at least he was keeping me laughing, although I don't know that getting me to laugh will really be all that helpful when I'm actually in labor.

The instructor handed out a template for a birth plan. I'm eager to put my 'plan' on paper but it's intimidating at the same time because I don't want to be disappointed with myself or upset if the labor and birth don't go according to the plan I've put together. It's a hard line to walk; have the expectation for everything to go according to the 'plan' with the understanding that when it comes to labor and delivery, anything and everything could change in an instant.

My friend,Trish, who is a labor and delivery nurse said you basically have to go into labor with a decision made about if you are taking medicine or not. It's an all or nothing mindset from the beginning, because if you are riding the fence, it basically means you want medication.

As much as I'm glad I watched The Business of Being Born along with a few other birthing videos and done as much research as I have, my head is spinning with so much information. It all feels a little surreal and a bit scary. You have complete control and no control at all in the same moment.

On one hand, I want the epidural and anything else the doctors will offer to help make me confortable because I don't want to feel the pain, especially at the end. But...and the but is a big one...is what's best for the baby and what's best for me. Because, that's what it's all about -- a healthy baby and a healthy mama. If someone could tell me an epidural was the safest way to have a baby, I would never question it. But, the more research I do, the more nervous I get about all the medical interventions that take place in the hospital. It just makes sense to me to keep birth simple, our bodies have been doing it for millions of years.

My basic plan right now is to stay at home as long as I can manage and forgo any narcotic IV meds. We learned last night that they cross the placenta in minutes and impacts the baby. I'm still on the fence with the epidural thing...I truly don't think I have the stamina or will power to go without the epidural, but I would be really proud of myself if I could make it to 5 or 6 centimeters.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Can you tell what's been on my mind lately?

34 weeks

Let's do a quick run down of the pros and cons of being 34 weeks pregnant.

Pros:

• Baby moves all over the place all the time. This makes your husband look at you in awe that you have a small alien-like heel/elbow protruding from your belly
• Baby shopping...I fully admit to buying cheesy onesies that say obnoxious things like "giddy up little dude." Don't judge me.
• Wild dreams. You name it, I dream about it, and its all a little bizarre and funny.
• Knowing that our baby is a real live human who is going to join us in just! 42! days! (according to babycenter.com) I'm crossing my fingers and saying a lot of prayers that it's more like 32 to 36 days.
• Knowing I only have a month left of work. I am so ready for a break from this place and even though its going to be a lot harder at home, just knowing I only have to deal with one or two dysfunctional crabby people (me, my husband and maybe my mother) is way more manageable than an entire office full of them.
• Gleefully enjoying every snack, treat and dessert that comes my way. I used to be all about the ice cream, then it was s'mores and now its cookies...oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to be exact.

Cons:

• Heartburn so bad you think you might be choking. It strikes at all times of the day after all kinds of foods. It's an equal opportunity offender.
• Sore back from carrying nearly 25 pounds out in front me.
• Did I mention I've gained almost 25 pounds? I can't believe I'm putting that on the Internet.
• Kicks to the ribs that I swear are bruising me on the inside.
• Clothing that is increasingly ill-fitting and uncomfortable.
• Looking at the calendar and realizing that in six short weeks our lives are going to change forever.
• Tieing my shoes, shaving my legs and unloading the dishwasher feels like an aerobic workout.
• Anxiety. I've been pretty calm throughout this pregnancy but every once in a while, the fear of failing as a mother and a wife grips me so tightly, I feel like I can't breathe. I have been praying specifically for courage to face this next season in life.
• Impending labor. It's going to hurt, it's not going to be fun and there is no way to avoid it.

More belly shots coming this weekend.

Bears, Beets...Battlestar Gallactica

I didn't eat any beets over the weekend, but I did see a bear! We spent part of the long weekend in Chinook Pass with friends and as we headed back into town, we decided to pull off the road to look for some huckleberries. We weren't that far off the highway when about 50 yards away was a big old black bear running towards us! I don't think he ever saw us and he disappeared down a ravine, but it was so cool to see! How many times do you get to see a bear in 'real' life?

That pretty well ended any huckleberry picking we were planning to do...oh well, maybe next year.
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I've watched the Business of Being Born twice in the last three days...it was so captivating the first time, I had to watch it again. I cried my eyes out each time I watched a baby being born. It's amazing to me what our bodies are capable of doing, I just can't get over the miracle that birth is. I know it will hit home even more once I actually go through the experience myself, but just to watch it on TV is amazing. I initially was hesitant about watching the video because I thought it was going to be a little wacky. I'm the girl that's said all along I wanted an epidural the second I go into labor. But, in the back of my mind, I've always known that even though I'm pro pain medication, I've wanted minimal interventions. I think that's why I was so uncomfortable with my doctor offering to induce me early. I'm still on the fence about the epidural but I have decided not to get induced unless I go really late.
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Aaron and I are steadily working through our 'to-do' list. Aaron finished painting the moulding in the baby's room and painted the ceiling in our basement. We switched closets around and organized a lot of the baby stuff. I still have some organization projects to do and I need to start washing baby clothes. I can't get over that it's time to start washing baby clothes! This is getting more and more real every day.

I'm looking for a diaper bag and haven't found 'the one.' Again, I'm looking for advice or recommendations. I want a tote style and preferably with a fun color or pattern. I personally would like it to look more like a purse than a messenger style bag.

Absent

My doctor let me know at my appointment she's leaving for vacation two days before my due date. As much as I understand I'm not her only patient and I certainly can't expect her to arrange her schedule around my needs, I'm disappointed.

For my first baby, I was really hoping and looking forward to having my doctor do the delivery. Obviously, I knew in the back of my mind that there was always the possibility that it wouldn't happen that way, but now that the confirmation is basically there, I'm bummed.

There is the chance that I'll have this baby a few days early, but I don't have my hopes up because neither my mom or mother-in-law had their babies early. Besides, I've always heard that first babies tend to be on the late side.

My doctor did offer to induce me a few days early, and while its certainly enticing, I'm not sure that's the wisest choice. I'm initially pretty hesitant to have any unnecessary interventions because I don't want to risk a c-section. Not to say that a little pitocin means you are going to have a c-section, but the whole thing makes me nervous.

At the same time, it makes me really nervous to have a doctor I've never met deliver my son. I know it has so much more to do with the nurses than the doctor, but it bothers me. So...I guess I have to weigh my options: get induced a few days early and have my doctor do the delivery or wait for my body to start labor on its own and have Dr. Mystery do the delivery. The one catch to my latter option is that something could still happen and I would end up with a c-section regardless and then I would really be sad...to be overdue, needing a c-section and have it performed by mystery doctor.

I would very much like to hear people's birth stories and any advice or thoughts on the subject...

To The One I Love

Today is our three year wedding anniversary. Three years of loving and living together. Three years of deepening love. Three years of being challenged in ways I didn't think possible. I feel lucky to have had these three years and I hope it's three times thirty more.

I love you because God, in His perfect plan for our lives, chose for us to be together.
I love you because you love Jesus and you show me how to love Him more.
I love you because you are kind and generous.
I love you because you challenge me everyday.
I love you because you are you and I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone other than you.

Aaron and I met five years ago this month at a Young Life camp in Oregon called Wildhorse Canyon. We worked side by side in the kitchen, cutting watermelon, refilling cereal carafes and flirting way more than we should have. When the month was up, we left for our separate lives, Bellingham and Western for me, Spokane and Eastern for him. But, thanks to some match maker friends, we talked on the phone and by the time Christmas break rolled around, we decided to meet up. We went out to dinner, played pool and needless to say, sparks flew just as they had in the kitchen at Wildhorse. Basically from that night on, we were together.

So...enough with the mush, lets look at some pictures. The following are a few photos that give some insight into my sweet husband, and a handful of my favorite pictures from the last couple of years. These photos capture his love for the outdoors but I need a few pictures of him washing his cars, talking on his cell phone, dressed up in his gorgeous suits and drinking wine, because the man is a bit bi-polar in his interests.

Snowshoeing in Chinook Pass

Hiking in Arches National Park, Moab, Utah

This photo says so much about his personality:
all redneck all the timeFly fishing in Glacier National Park
Shooting at the cabin
Hanging with Rem at the beach
My favorite photo of us, Valentines Day 2008, Kauai

Riding the chairlift at Park City after some major hiking...
this was a super fun day!
House projects galore...you never quit