One Month

In many ways, time is flying by faster than I can keep track of. The days and nights blur together filled with nursing, changing diapers, trying to empty the dishwasher every once in a while and find a little time to hug and kiss on my husband.

I feel a little melancholy when I think that a month has already gone by with my boy. Where did the time go? On one hand I am eager for him to grow up, get to the next stage...and then all of a sudden I am hit with a pang of sadness that it's all going to fast. He's growing and changing so much every day and there isn't enough hours in the day to soak it all in.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments (okay hours) that I want to pull my hair out. There have been ugly moments when I am so frustrated with his crying, the endless hours on the couch nursing, and feeling all around inept at this job I have in front of me, that I have said and done some things I'm not proud of.

And then I take a deep breath, and in the blink of an eye, my son is cooing and smiling at me. He willingly hangs out in his bouncy seat while I take a long shower or he falls asleep on my chest and I am overwhelmed at my love for him.

As usual my words fall short. But, this is such an incredible gift and I have never felt so vulnerable in my life. Never before have minutes and hours been so important. Because, every time I look up, they have passed by and I don't want to miss a thing.