Friday, December 19, 2008

Balance

It's 10am and I am still in my bathrobe. Tumbleweeds of dog hair are swirling at my feet, the Christmas tree needs watering, the laundry changed out and I have freelance work to tackle. My coffee has been reheated at least three times this morning and every time I pass by a mirror, I notice how badly I need to pluck my eyebrows.

Sometimes being a mother is really hard. It's hard to balance taking care of someone else with the rest of life's responsibilities. Don't get me wrong, it's the best thing I've ever done and I wouldn't trade a single second, but sometimes...life just seems out of balance.

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And...now it's 1:48pm and I still haven't finished this post. The baby is finally napping. Why are 8 week olds such little tyrants? Jack refuses to nap in his crib. He will sleep there all night long, but try and put him down during the day and he completely freaks out. He is now swaddled and sleeping in his swing.

I think I might attempt a shower.

On the horizon are big decisions about working. I have an offer on the table for a part-time position but it means finding some kind of childcare for the baby. I've looked at a few places but haven't found anything I feel comfortable with. On days like today, I'm itching to spend a few hours away from the house, doing something for myself.

I think the truth is, I'm nervous. Nervous to add another responsibility to an already full plate. So, we will see what the new year brings. Hopefully a better attitude on my part and a baby who is a little more willing to sleep!

4 comments:

Ripe for Reading said...

Boy, do I know how you feel! : )

Here's to getting something done for yourself. And Ian is almost 4 months and he's not a fan of napping in the crib, either--just sleeping there at night.

Unknown said...

Oh Andrea- I know you are doing a great job as a new mom- You love that little guy too much not to! I wish we lived closer to eachother so that we could just call eachother up when we need to get out! I hope you get to enjoy more not-so-productive days before going back to work.
I miss you tons and really hope to see you guys soon! Have a Merry Christmas!

Chad and Cate Kuhlmann said...

Have you tried darkening up his room a bit more? Just a thought! Sorry about the work delema...I know how you feel.

Anonymous said...

Andrea - you are such a great mama! That said, it is one of the hardest and most demanding jobs ever. (It's another one of those "subjects" no on ever talks about until you are knee-deep into motherhood.) You will find your balance, and you will find your own mama groove. And the craziest part? You will catch yourself (sooner than you ever though possible) looking back fondly at those dog hair tumbleweed and no nap days.

But as for drinking warm coffee? I'm still reheating at least twice a day and have yet to finish a cup since having kids.