Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Behavior Becomes Nature

I am reading a really good book right now called, Letters From a Skeptic. One of the points made in the book is that an individuals behavior becomes their nature over a period of time. I have been thinking about this idea in the context of my marriage, my health and fitness and my fears.

If I make an effort to enjoy who my husband is, have patience with him and look for opportunities to spend time together, then it will become my nature to enjoy him and his presence in my life. On the other hand, if I am constantly swept up in his faults and the things that annoy me...then that becomes how I view him regardless of how he is acting or what he is doing. I know some of this is subjective because I have a really great husband who does very little to annoy me anyway, but I still think that so much of a happy marriage comes from choosing it.

I think the biggest area in my life where my behavior has become my nature is in the area of fear. I have a completely ridiculous but very real fear of vomit. I have hated to throw up since I was a little girl and over time it has morphed into a fear of other people throwing up because it would mean that I could get sick and throw up myself. Stupid? Totally...but its still something I deal with. There was a period in my life that going into a public restroom and getting on an airplane were huge sources of anxiety because someone could throw up...

I feel really challenged to change my behavior, so in turn my nature changes. I don't want to freak out every time my future kid barfs because its only going to give them a complex. I'm confident I will give them enough reasons for therapy later in life; their mother losing her shit every time they barf isn't necessary.

So...I have been conscious about my attitude. Anyone have any tips in conquering fears?

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