34 weeksAaron doesn't really like this picture because he has a funny smile, but I like it. This is at a family friend's wedding a couple of weeks ago. I think I was 32 weeks. That is a non-maternity wrap dress I found at TJ Maxx and let me tell you, that was definitely the last time it could be worn...it didn't wrap quite as much as it needed to.
We had our first birthing class last night. Our friends, who have almost the same due date as us, were in the class which made it really fun. Aaron, of course, was overly silly and didn't take it all that seriously, but I'm glad we did the class. I kept reminding myself, (as I was getting increasingly annoyed) that at least he was keeping me laughing, although I don't know that getting me to laugh will really be all that helpful when I'm actually in labor.
The instructor handed out a template for a birth plan. I'm eager to put my 'plan' on paper but it's intimidating at the same time because I don't want to be disappointed with myself or upset if the labor and birth don't go according to the plan I've put together. It's a hard line to walk; have the expectation for everything to go according to the 'plan' with the understanding that when it comes to labor and delivery, anything and everything could change in an instant.
My friend,Trish, who is a labor and delivery nurse said you basically have to go into labor with a decision made about if you are taking medicine or not. It's an all or nothing mindset from the beginning, because if you are riding the fence, it basically means you want medication.
As much as I'm glad I watched The Business of Being Born along with a few other birthing videos and done as much research as I have, my head is spinning with so much information. It all feels a little surreal and a bit scary. You have complete control and no control at all in the same moment.
On one hand, I want the epidural and anything else the doctors will offer to help make me confortable because I don't want to feel the pain, especially at the end. But...and the but is a big one...is what's best for the baby and what's best for me. Because, that's what it's all about -- a healthy baby and a healthy mama. If someone could tell me an epidural was the safest way to have a baby, I would never question it. But, the more research I do, the more nervous I get about all the medical interventions that take place in the hospital. It just makes sense to me to keep birth simple, our bodies have been doing it for millions of years.
My basic plan right now is to stay at home as long as I can manage and forgo any narcotic IV meds. We learned last night that they cross the placenta in minutes and impacts the baby. I'm still on the fence with the epidural thing...I truly don't think I have the stamina or will power to go without the epidural, but I would be really proud of myself if I could make it to 5 or 6 centimeters.
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Can you tell what's been on my mind lately?